The Parable of the Two Arrows

The beautiful Buddhist (Zen) parable often called “The Parable of the Two Arrows” is one of my favourite teachings.

Here’s how it goes:

A man is struck by an arrow. It hurts — that’s the first arrow, the unavoidable pain of life.

But then, he shoots himself with a second arrow — the arrow of resistance, judgment, and mental suffering. He asks, “Why me?” He blames himself or others. He replays the pain in his mind over and over again.

The Buddha taught that while we can’t always avoid the first arrow (pain), we can choose not to fire the second one (suffering).

In other words:

The first arrow is what happens to you.

The second arrow is how you respond to it — the stories, fears, and control you add to the experience.

The Parable of the Two Arrows reminds us that pain is a part of being human — it’s the first arrow, the one we can’t always avoid. But the second arrow — the one we fire ourselves — comes from our reactions: overthinking, self-criticism, the need to control every outcome. That’s the arrow of suffering.

When we learn to pause, to breathe, and to simply feel the first arrow without adding the second, we create space for peace. Life doesn’t stop being challenging, but we stop adding layers of resistance, and in that space, healing begins.